


The Unintentional Courting Of A King

by Shilio_Stone



Category: The Hobbit
Genre: Bilbo has no clue what's going on, Bilbo is oblivious, Durin men fight for Bilbo, Dwarven customs, Dwarves, Elves love Bilbo, Jealous Thorin, Kili and Fili are shit heads, M/M, Thorin Is an Idiot, What!?, elvish courting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-29 01:45:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5111780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shilio_Stone/pseuds/Shilio_Stone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo Baggins is highly regarded as a respectable hobbit of Bag End, and has resigned himself to living as a bachelor. Now Bilbo isn't ugly, in fact Bilbo is considered one of the most handsome hobbits in the Shire, but he simply refuses any courting gestures. His mother, Belladonna Took-Baggins is viewed as very queer to her fellow hobbits, as hobbits don't tend to leave their Shire. Belladonna does not have a care for that, as she loves to leave the Shire, and explore. Belladonna often gets involved in her son's life by attempting to get Bilbo to accept a courting gesture, which of tens leads to Bilbo declining the offer afterward. Although Bilbo never thought it would be himself to initiate courting first! With a king!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Unintentional Courting Of A King

Chapter One

Such a horrid claim! Bilbo thought as he trudged through The Shire to his little hobbit hole. I have never once been so disrespected by a mere tradesmen! 

Bilbo took out his pipe, and pipe weed while sitting on his little bench outside his smial. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End was his name, son of Bungo Baggins and Belladonna Took- Baggins. Also known as the most eligible bachelor in Hobbiton, and perhaps even the whole Shire. 

"I cannot believe that Lobelia Sackville-Baggins would say such things! That tradesmen just laughed along too!" Bilbo huffed, then started to make O's with his pipe. 

"Bilbo Baggins, would you like to take part in an adventure with me?" Gandalf the Grey, the wandering wizard, where he goes there likely to be trouble brewing.

Yet Bilbo remembered that his Mother requested that he take part in at least one adventure, and to make it become the adventure of a lifetime. The world isn't going to wait until he decides to go, its a one time chance for Bilbo.

"Where is this adventure taking us?" Bilbo asked, putting his pipe away, and jumping to his feet. He would need to pack, and get the list his mother used when packing to go on another one of her trios to Rivendell.

"Erebor, you are going to be part of the company of Thorin Oakenshield, Son of Thrain, son of Thor, future King under the mountain. The purpose of retaking Erebor from the dragon Smaug." Gandalf replied, meddling wizard.

"I shall get my affairs in order with the Thain at once then, may I ask when they are coming because you must have already done so without my permission?" Bilbo asks going into his study to write a letter to the Thain, Gamgee his gardener, and his will if he doesn't return.

"They shall arrive this evening, there are thirteen dwarrow coming." Gandalf says ducking his head in the smial.

"Thirteen dwarrow!? You should've told me earlier! I have to start cooking this instant if there is to be enough food!" Bilbo exclaimed running into the kitchen, Gandalf was going to rue the day that he threw this at him at such short notice!  
So Bilbo spent the whole day cooking for this evening, and made one last trip to get some more tea from the market in Hobbiton before the company arrived; Because it's completely unacceptable to not have a good stock of tea ready for guests!

"E-exuse me, B-Bilbo would you give me the h-honour as to c-court you?" Griffo Longholes, asked. Griffo was a shy plum hobbit that just moved in from Bree asked. Bilbo met him a couple times, and he seemed like a good lad, but he just didn't want a relationship right now.

"I'm quite sorry Griffo, but I'm not ready to settle down with anyone yet. I assure you that I think your a very highly respectable hobbit, but I'm just not ready. I have to decline." Bilbo answered, feeling quite upset that he has to let Griffo down.

"O-okay, I h-hope you have a n-nice d-day." Griffo squeaks out, quickly walking away in the other direction with watery eyes.

Bilbo sighed, I didn't want to hurt him, he thought heading into his smial. Bilbo just wasn't comfortable with courtship, and letting people into his life, no matter how much his mother, Belladonna meddled with his love life.

Oh well, he thought, better get to cooking! Bilbo spent a whole twelve hours cooking a meal suitable for a hobbit reunion. Now for the tea and ale, Bilbo thought, filling a big keg, and starting up the kettle. 

"I'm coming!" Bilbo yelled, as he heard someone pounding on her door. It was a bald dwarf with a huge beard and gigantic axe.

"Dwalin, son of Fundin, at your service." The warrior dwarf grunted with a small, oh dear he looks like an murderer that's in mother's stories.

"Bilbo Baggins, at yours and your families." Bilbo said, with a small bow. "There is food in the dining room, help yourself, and weapons in closet room please." He got a grunt in response from Dwalin.

"Do you know when the rest of the company will be arriving tonight?" Bilbo said, moving man-sized chairs from Gandalf's visits into the parlour. 

"Yer a wee lad Master Baggins, would you like some help? The others should be close by, I saw some by th' market earlier." Dwalin said, offering Bilbo no real choice as he picked up the chairs and set them in the parlour.

"Thank you Master Dwalin, would you like some tarts before the rest of the company arrive? I don't suppose a small snack would ruin your appetite." Bilbo said, smiling as he dashed off into the kitchen.

"Yes, Master Baggins, but call me Dwalin. 'Nough of this master business, just Dwalin." Dwalin grunted, he seemed to do that alot.

"My apologies Dwalin, I suppose you should call me Bilbo now too. It seems that we should drop the formalities since we're going to be stuck on the road together we need to be more casual. Now can you take these barrels into the dining room please? I'm afraid I don't have enough ale for everyone, do you think it's enough?" Bilbo asked, suddenly feeling nervous as Dwalin put the barrels into the dining room.

"This is 'nough if you don't let 'ta younglings have at it first, they like to chug it from the barrel. What's a small one like you doin' with all this ale?" Dwalin asked, lifting the barrels into the dining room.

"Gandalf said you lot were quite fond of ale, and drinking games, and songs, so I went into the market and bought a couple barrels. They're not as strong as Dwarven ale is, but it is all I could get." Bilbo sighed, he really wished he could've been an acomidating host with their preferences.

"'Tis alright Bilbo, you've already worked hard on giving us a feast. I' never seen a feast that big sin' Thorin's Halls we're finished bein' built!" Dwalin exclaimed looking on the table, and counters at the food Bilbo cooked for the company.

During this time, Bilbo met Balin, a wise looking dwarf with nice kind manners. Bilbo was starting to find a friend in the elderly looking dwarf. Until the bell rang again.

"Kili!" Said the young brunette, "And Fili" added a blonde dwarf. With a floor sweeping bow they said "At your service!". Then Bilbo ushered them to take of their royal blue coats and sit with Balin and Dwalin.

"So-" Bilbo started, but was cut off by the door being knocked on. He raced to the door and a pile of dwarrow would've have squashed him if it weren't for Bilbo side stepping them later minute.

The introduced themselves as Dori, a rather strong looking dwarf with a love of tea by the way he was looking at the tea set on the coffee table. Nori, a very peculiar dwarf with his hair styled in a star wearing a purple robe. Ori, a rather shy dwarf who seemed to be the shortest, next to Bilbo of course. Oin, and Gloin, Oin with various white mustache braids, and all over his hair, and Gloin a red headed dwarf with a rather tamed beard compared to Oin.

"Hello I'm Bilbo Baggins, welcome to my smial. You can call me Bilbo. There's food in the kitchen and you can put your weapons in that closet behind you." Bilbo said, thinking Finnally I am being an acomidating host! 

Bilbo then met Bifur, Bofur and Bombur. Bifur was a rather scary looking dwarf, and Bilbo almost screamed when he answrwed the door to see a huge dwarf with an axe sticking out of his head. Although it turned out Bifur was rather splendid company, he couldn't speak Westron due to the axe in his head, but he could write it just fine and enjoyed that Bilbo made an effort to talk to him. Bofur was a charming dwarrow, who wore a hat and loved to joke around. Bombur was an excellent cook, Bilbo descovered and he let Bombur use his kitchen to make speacial dwarven desserts.

"Thank you so much Bilbo! You have no idea how much this means to us!" Bofur told him, and went on to explain that Bombur loved to cook, and he's been depressed that they didn't have enough money for him to cook a meal for a long time and to see him so happy and alive was the best thing ever.

"Your welcome Bofur, and Bombur's welcome to use the kitchen as much as he wants before we have to leave." With that, Bilbo got a hug from Bofur and a big smile from Bifur.

That evening Bilbo tried to get the roudy darrow to stop throwing around his stuff to an avail. Well, until Fili threw a plate at Kili who wasn't ready to catch it. Gandalf quickly caught it, and warned the darrow about respecting their host. That lead to a shameful blushing pair of brithers to apoligize to Bilbo.

It was then their was a knock on the door, Bilbo went to answer the door and saw Gandalf already beat him there and was talking to a dwarrow.

"You said this place would be easy to find, I lost my way twice, and would still be lost if it wasn't for that mark on the door." The dwarf said, now coming into Bilbo's view. Bilbo remember that mark on e door well, Gandalf was so going to be fixing that before they leave.

He was tall, and held himself with a sharp air of authority. He had a dark black veil of hair framing his sharp jaw line. But what really intrigued Bilbo was his distinctive blue eyes. He was a rather beautiful dwarrow, even held a graceful stance when he appeared angry.

"Bilbo Baggins, I would like you to meet Thorin son of Thror, future King Under The Mountain." Gandalf introduced.

As Bilbo was abiut to speak Thorin spoke pearing down at him.

"Tell me burglar, have you done much stealing? What's your weapon of choice? An axe or hammer?" Thorin questioned looking superior and powerful compared to Bilbo. It pissed Bilbo off that Thorin would look down on him so.

"I have never done any theft, and I am quite skilled in archery, and throwing knives. I have competed against many in tornaments, but I haven't faced a dwarf. Although I might get a chance to impale my knife in one very soon if he keeps steeping into my personal space and treating me rather rudely. So Master Thorin, would you kindly get the fuck out of my face? I am trying to be an acomidating host, but you are being a unwelcomed guest right now. If you want the rest of your company to be unwelcomed guests too and be sleeping outside tonight you can stay where you are." Bilbo leveled the glare with his own, he wasn't about to get pushed around in his own house!

"Thorin! Lets discuss the quest in the sitting room!" Gandalf saud at last seeing that neither Bilbo or Thorin would break their challenging glare.

"Very well." Thorin grumbled, and Bilbo sighed. 

This is going to be a long journey.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the very late upload! I'm very self conscious about my writing, and I'm slowing at uploading.


End file.
